How to Help Your New College Grad Get Hired (Without Getting a Severe Eye Roll)

Dear Parent of a New College Grad,

Remember when all you were worried about was fitting 45 of your nearest and dearest (oh, and the in-laws) in your living room or backyard for a graduation party?

Those were the days.

To put it mildly, things have changed. We’re in a whole new world now.

A new world that may involve your college-aged child — who until very recently was hosting the Fourth Annual Beer Pong Olympics (errrr, studying hard) in his dorm room — moving back under your roof, finishing classes online and wondering how. the. heck. he’s going to get a job in this new version of reality.

Deep breaths. Deeeeep breaths.

It may be hard to imagine now, but this, too, shall pass.

With that said, I know that you would like to do everything in your parental power to make sure that this adult child, who you’ve invested no small amount of time, energy, and moolah in over the past couple of decades, gets a great first job — one that sets them up for a flourishing career and that gets them out from under your roof in the not-too-distant future.

So, let’s talk about how you can be genuinely encouraging, supportive and helpful right now, and what most certainly qualifies as "don't go there" territory (and, ya know, some of that grey area stuff, too.)

First, a few ground rules to keep you both sane:

Judging from my own experience being confined to my residence with two teens and a tween, I’m going to wager that stress levels around your place are nearing “HOLY SNAKES ON A PLANE — WHERE’S THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER??” status.

You’re working from home. Your kid’s just been ripped out of school and told she’s not getting the party (sorry, graduation ceremony) she’s been dreaming about for four-plus years. Your whole family is spending more time together than you have … maybe with anyone, ever.

And now you’re adding a job search — not exactly known as being a leisurely ramble through the park — into the mix. To ensure that both you and your family make it out of this thing alive, here are a few general guidelines to keep in mind:

Play it Cool

Yes, you’re worried about your son or daughter getting hired in this environment, but I can assure you that they’re freaking out as well.

So a constant barrage of “Sooooo, what jobs have you applied for today?” is going to go over about as well as the last time you tried to convince the whole family to help organize the garage.

A more-likely-to-not-result-in-any-eye-rolls approach is to start open-ended conversations that let your kid share how they’re feeling and what they’re working on, without judgment.

A short list of solid Q’s to ask:

If they’re still exploring career paths

What types of jobs are you thinking about?
What are you most looking for in a job?
What have been your favorite things you’ve done at internships or in school?

If they’re applying to specific jobs

What would you be doing in this job?
What about this job appeals to you?
What have you heard from people about what it’s like to work there?

Any time

How are you feeling about the job search?
Is there anything I can do to help?

Keep an Open Mind

Your child’s first post-grad job might not look like what you thought it would. Frankly, it’s probably not going to look like the high-paying, all-meals-included, beer-on-tap situation they’ve been envisioning, either. That’s not to say that anyone should settle for the first gig that comes along, but it’s probably a good idea for everyone to ease up on their visions about what post-college employment will entail, not to mention how long it will take to secure it.

For example, here are a few things that are increasingly normal, and will continue to be in our new economic funhouse:

Post-grad internships (typically paid, though often minimum wage)
Permalance jobs (technically full-time roles that are contract, so they don’t come with benefits)
Side gigs (instead of or in addition to a full-time job. Think anything from freelance photography to delivering food for DoorDash)

In fact, these types of just-for-now jobs or side projects can be a great way for new grads to get some experience — not to mention earn some dough — especially if they aren’t 100% sure what they want to do.

Be Encouraging

Finally, remember that any job search — especially one that’s bound to be fraught with situations outside of anyone’s control — is tough.

Your new grad is probably going to feel frustration, disappointment, and a whole lotta ‘But it’s not faaaaaaair!’ Especially if they’re the kind of kid who’s used to being admitted to top colleges, elected to leadership positions, and receiving a report card full of As.

And while you may not have ever been in this same job-searching-during-a-global-pandemic boat, you’ve likely felt the whole range of those emotions too. And you know what you want to hear in those cases, right? Not that “Everything happens for a reason!” blather. Blech. But not a Debbie Downer approach, either.

Most of us want something riiiiight in the middle:

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m here for you.”

“Can I bring you a pint of Half Baked? Maybe two?”

Yes, your kid needs a job. But more importantly, they need a loving, supportive parent.

Now, let’s get to some specifics…

A Quick-and-Dirty List of Things That Are and Are Not Helpful in Your Child’s Job Search

Things That Are Helpful

Offering to proofread their resume or cover letter (or, if you want us in the mix, gift them with our 30-minute Resume Critique Quickie consult)
Encouraging them to talk to people who have jobs they’re interested in
Making introductions to your friends or contacts who could help in their job search (with the permission of both your kid and your connection)
Offering to hold a mock interview
Talking through potential opportunities or career paths
Listening to concerns and challenges (but you knew that already)

Things That Aren’t So Helpful

Starting any sentence with, “When I was your age…” or “If I were you, I would...” or “You just need to…”
Asking for daily updates about the status of job applications
Telling them what you think would be good jobs or career paths without asking their opinion
Dismissing job options because you don’t know exactly what they entail
Assuming you know what they do and don’t want to do
Saying, “Well there’s always law school!” if that’s not something they’ve ever mentioned before
Nagging them to do something (but you knew that already)

Things That BY NO MEANS SHOULD YOU DO. NOT NOT, NOT EVER

Creating a resume, writing a cover letter, or applying for a job FOR your child
Joining your child for their job interview (you’ve heard that parents do this, right??)
Calling the hiring manager of a company he or she has applied to to ask the status of your kid’s application
Anything illegal, immoral, or that would cause your kid not to speak to you for the rest of the year (but you knew that already)

Oh, and an important note: Unless you happen to be a recruiter, hiring manager or HR leader, resist the urge to get granular with the resume advice you’re giving. Again, this is your son or daughter’s job search, not yours, and giving too much feedback might shut down the conversation completely (probably didn’t have to tell you that much, though.)

Hopefully, this serves as a good initial primer on how you can support your new grad as he or she gets down to business with the job hunt.

Looking for more comprehensive support?

Good news.

We’ve just launched How to Land Your First Job, a comprehensive online guide just for you.

And, it comes with a bonus guide for you parents, How to Help Your Kid Get a Job (Without Being THAT Parent).

(I know, you totally mean well… I have two teens. I get it.)

How to Land Your First Job is an easy-to-digest, actionable guide that takes new grads step-by-step through the process of creating a winning job search strategy, and a new grad resume, LinkedIn profile, and cover letter to accompany that strategy.

It also provides tips on networking, interviewing and navigating the specific challenges of job search during #COVID times. Oh, and sample resumes and cover letters.

We’ve bundled the two together so you can go through the journey together (or not, ha!)

You and your new grad have so much to be proud of. Let’s keep ‘er going.

Take me to the guides!